Tuesday, October 27, 2015

5 Fears Writers Have (For Non-Writing Friends)


Do you ever feel like author friends run away from your good advice? Sometimes conversations are hard between writers and non-writers because you're touching on a deep-rooted fear that they have a hard time controlling. Most writers carry around a heavy sense of inadequacy, uncertainty for the future, and wondering if their dream is even possible.

This series is about bridging the gaps. Authors need challenge and accountability. They shouldn't be little artistic gods and goddesses that require constant cuddling and praise. But conversations can be more positive and healthy when both sides understand each other. So today, I want to share with you some fears that we writers grapple with on a daily basis, and how you can be such a blessing in helping us overcome them.

"It will never be good enough." 
Most first drafts of a book are pretty appalling. Even Tolkien wrote some off lines, though he has the luck of having each successive draft of his stories published and praised. To some extent a book never will be good enough to an author, just like your kids will never be quite everything you could choose or hope for. But just like parenting, you have to encourage the author to work hard, be faithful to do everything they can, and then turn it over to God's hands and allow Him to use it.

"People will never love this." 
Writers rely on the support of interested people. The biggest fear after each new story is wondering if other people will love it like  you do. Someone else to love the characters, plot twists, little details, and storyline seems so impossible. Every time it happens it's really shocking, and so wonderful that the level of their excitement when you talk to them about it may surprise you.

"I'll never get published."
We've touched on this before. Publishing is a long journey with many weeks of waiting, and many emails. Until they are published, and even afterwards, it's a perennial issue on every author's mind.

"Maybe God doesn't want me to do this. Maybe I'm wasting my time."
Some people go happily along, content to write because they like it, God has gifted them in it, and there we go. But many writers struggle with the questions "Does God want me to work at writing really hard?" "Is this taking too much time?" "Am I working as hard as another adult my age?" "Is this the right story to be working on?" The feeling of limited time and for the Christian, doing a work that matters can be a heavy weight.

"Please don't make me read my writing out loud." (With thanks to H.M. Wilson.)
Reading writing out loud feels like you're being skinned alive, or you're sitting in front of a panel of judges having them evaluate your merits of beauty. Sometimes you get feedback so crippling you never really forget it. Even worse is the polite silence following the end, in which you can sense that no one connects with it at all. Reading aloud equals the exposure of our soul, personality, fears, hopes, and work to others. And you thought it was just a story. ;)

How You Can Help 


Authors have pressures, just like any other job or lifestyle. They have pressure to write based on what will sell quickly rather than what they really believe in. They have pressure to give up writing. And they have pressure to make money. Sometimes the fear that stems from these things can be so crippling, that the creative process starts losing its spark. That in turn leads to more fear. But the community of people around them, (that means you!) both writers who understand and non-writers, can give them that live-saving soothing support or kick-in-the-pants input.

If you'd like to encourage a writer friend who's facing some fear, here are some ideas:

1. Ask them to share snippets and bits about their story with you. 
Give them the option of  'if they want to'. But seriously, your constant, multiple affirmations of interest would probably be an encouragement when they need a reminder that someone besides them loves this story. Even the faintest spark of interest can be a life-line. And you will get all kinds of posters, pictures, interviews, and snippets. Sneak-peek exclusives. ;)

2. Ask them to tell you about the times God has answered prayer in their writing process. 
Sometimes when a writer questions if God wants them doing this, it helps to go back and remember all the things God has done to get them to this point. You would be surprised about how many miracles go into the making of a book. Finding an old specialized research book at the library. Meeting the right person at the right time. Getting off work early on a day you need to concentrate. Writers forget these things when the going is hard. Help them remember by asking them to tell you.

3. Ask them how you can be in prayer for the publication process. 
Whatever the next step is: meeting an agent, being accepted by an agent, being accepted by a publisher, just finishing a manuscript, or for indies, finding a cover designer, building a good number of interested followers--these are all steps to the end goal. Wherever they're at, I'm sure your writer friend would love prayer for it.

4. Ask them to read their writing out loud. 
You'll probably get some resistance. But helping a writer overcome fear and distance themselves from their writing is good practice. Keep asking several times until they're willing to read it. Eventually your interest will wear down their reluctance.

5. Remind them that they have lots of time and several drafts to make their story beautiful. 
What comes out on paper is rarely as good as what's in their mind. In case you don't know, here's what writing each draft feels like for writers: the first draft feels like throwing up on paper (because everything is so awful). The second draft feels like sweating it out in a really hard exercise routine. The third draft feels like writing with blood to add an extra layer of pathos and beauty, because the sweat wasn't good enough. Remind them that it can be as good, and it will be as good. It just needs some time to grow.

In Conclusion 
Ultimately, the problem with any writer's fear starts with "I". The solution to any writer's fear is "But God". Writers are sometimes so "I" focused on our inadequacies that we forget it's not about what we can do, but what God chooses to do through us.

God is able. We need friends, both writers and non-writers, to remind us of that. Thank-you to all our non-writing friends for being there to encourage and critique us. Our books stand on your shoulders, and you are a precious, indispensable part of our journey.

Want more? Check out other articles in this series:
How to Talk to a Writer
6 Ways to Pray for Writers
The Book Writing Process

6 comments:

  1. I like this post. It's really good. I'll have to put some of those five things into practice. :wasntme: <3

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    1. You do. All the time. <3 Someday we'll have to host a Fellowship of the WoL reunion or something.

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  2. I second exactly what Kaleigh said. :P :D It's so fun to watch / be a slight part of the journey of a writer. Never would have expected it, but it's so fun, and posts like this help. ;) <3

    Hilarious about reading it aloud. :D

    Love,
    Kyla <3

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    1. It makes the process so much more fun to have your enthusiastic support! It means so much. <3 You all deserve flowers from the boys at Folkestone.

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  3. This was a great post, Schuyler! I have to be honest, aside from my parents and sisters, I've not had much positive encouragement or great interest from my non-writing acquaintances and friends about my writing or passion for writing books/novels (it is usually treated with little to no comment, though sometimes I've been teased with little remarks that usually rub me the wrong way, as though writing-novels is a frivolous undertaking, like watching Netflix #mightbeoverreacting) I don't know for sure why that is so. . . perhaps because I'm a poor example of a writer, or maybe because I'm still in highschool and haven't given any proof that my interest in writing is more than a mere hobby. I guess a lot of them are not readers (of fiction at least), so that is probably the biggest cause for the lack of care or interest - it's like me talking to you for hours about me being a vet and my love for animals when you have no interest in that area. (Though, we as writers, would be interested in that, because hey! Research! ;)).

    Do you have any tips for how to be positive and confident with friends/acquaintances who don't show enthusiasm or interest in your writing or what you do, even if they're good friends with you? Are your non-writing friends who're excited about your writing people who normally love to read?

    At all rates, this post is great because it encourages me on how to be a better encourager and support for all my lovely writing friends!

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    1. Aw, I'm sorry you don't have more people in person who can be supportive of your writing, Joy. That is hard, and it's hard enough to talk about writing in an interested environment, without having to deal with that disheartening silence.

      I would say some basic tips would be, take a deep breath, pray for wisdom, and then talk with all the passion and enjoyment you would show with a writing friend. It may take time. But if you're scared or nervous, you'll give off a less than positive impression, and if you're excited, then that in itself can go far. Sometimes a prophet is without honor in his own country, and it can take time and perseverance to get the message across. :) Even if you can compare it to something they love, that might help.

      Most of my friends are writing ones, but for non-writing, I try to explain a bit of the writing process, or publishing process, and not overwhelm them with too much information. Most of them are intrigued, so that's been a blessing.

      You are a lovely encouragement to all of us online! We are so blessed to know you, dear friend. <3 Be encouraged that here, at least, your encouragement and love for books is appreciated and treasured.

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