After the popular reception of the first installment of character letters, I thought I'd make it a monthly feature! Welcome to today's column of advice to characters from Gaskell, Star Wars, Tolkien, and Cinderella. :) Advance warning that the letters contain spoilers!
To Margaret Hale
My dear Margaret,
When a man is standing in front of your door in great distress because you won't let him in, a well-bred lady finds some comforting words to say. I know your brother Fred is inside, and he ABSOLUTELY CAN'T SEE ANYONE, but girl, your future happiness will be in serious jeopardy long after Fred is back home with Delores. Take a deep breath and say, "I'm so sorry, Mr. Thornton, I would like to invite you in, but--"
Very well, Margaret. I don't know what to say either. But you don't look like you're even trying until it's already too late. Also, Ruby Gillis has magazines on how to refuse a young man's proposal. I can give you her address for further advice.
PS. I love your blouses, and you would be a darling correspondent.
To John Thornton
My dearest John,
You know, one shouldn't wear black suits walking around in a cotton mill. All sorts of white fluff is flying around waiting to stick to your jacket and making you look undignified. I'm really surprised we never saw any on you.
You're such a dear, scowly soul. I'm not surprised though, your mother may not have smiled at you when you were a baby. Wives do not like scowls across the breakfast table, so I would learn to tone it down if I were you. It will improve your marital bliss.
You will be a cute daddy, if the way you treat Boucher's boy is any indication.
PS. Somehow all this sternness melted away into a compliment. I'm not sure how that happened.
I wouldn't recommend America's Got Talent for you just yet. I can't say I've seen much of it, but I suspect they want a higher standard of musical talent than you've currently achieved. I would also recommend a course of improving reading for the broadening of the mind and conversation. In case you ever want to expand your skills, Duolingo is a great resource for actually learning French.
PS. I do hope you grew up and found a nice lord. You were just unkind because of your upbringing and ignorance, and I think you could have easily turned around to something better.
To the Herb-Master of Gondor
Most Learned Master,
It doesn't give good evidence of your high learning when you quote prophecies about the king of Gondor in front of Aragorn and then say they're all old nonsense. I was embarrassed on your behalf. Ioreth is a gossip inclined to take too much credit to her own perspicacity, but she just might know some old knowledge you dismiss as fairytales. It's generally the laypeople of this world that preserve the truth that scholars mock at. I think you're a nice fellow, though, and you do the best you can with the knowledge you have.
To Luke Skywalker
A yellow jacket, dude. A yellow jacket. *just falls down and faints* I'm not fashionable, Luke, and may never be, but the white shirt looked better on you.
You should be nicer to Han Solo when he asks if a smuggler and a princess would do well together. You squashed the tender bud of true love, and that was unkind of you. Perhaps a dose of poetry would be effective in awaking some sympathy for the plight of your fellow adventurer.
PS. I think you're just as nice as Han.
You adorable Droid of Pessimism. Life will be OK. R2-D2 seems to know what he's doing, so I'd just follow him and let your blood pressure go down to a healthier level. I can't wait to see what adventures you go on next. When something happens, dust yourself off and be brave instead of predicting murder and mayhem. You'll enjoy the ride so much better that way.
PS. You're such a sweetheart for offering your gears and things after Someone got all burned up.
Which authors or characters would you like to see me write letters to for the April Character Letters? I'd love suggestions! :)
PS. Guess what? I got Instagram yesterday!! Tell me your handles so I can follow you, and follow me @myladybibliophile for even more bookish fun!