Friday, October 21, 2016

Character Letters // October

On this fine October day, it's the perfect time to curl up with a fox mug filled with hot cider and read some character letters. I have another installment all set to go for your reading pleasure. Enjoy missives from The Scarlet Pimpernel, The Prisoner of Zenda, Star Wars, and A.A. Milne.

Sir Percy

Sink me, isn't it a fine morning. I heard through the grapevine that you've been having difficulty communicating with a certain beautiful wife of yours. While the fellows may be more dependable, the fact remains that she has a right to expect a certain level of confidence from you. Andrew Ffoulkes seems like an INFJ, who make excellent counsellors, I hear. Perhaps he might have some advice to share on Controlling Erroneous Suspicions and Showing the Authentic You Now and Then. Also, if you weren't so rich and so good, your absolute controlling leadership would be concerning. But who are we to be concerned? You dance into our lives, charm us, and go on your merry way. I'm already writing fan fiction.

Entirely Yours,
Lady B.

Rudolf Rassendyll

My Dear Sir,
You deserve a seat amongst the grandest of adventurers. I love your gallant integrity. I am, however, receiving dire hints about either your physical longevity or your personal honor, I'm not sure which yet. If you die, you will have my mournful self to reckon with. If you lose your honor, then I hope you get whatever's coming to you. You shouldn't win my affections and then risk them in such a manner.

Hopefully yours,
Lady B.

PS. Who are we kidding? I hope you get off without a scratch.

Kylo Ren

Dear Son of Solo,
Bet you're loving the fact that you've single-handedly captured the hearts of half the female fandom universe. Who wouldn't? I've been volunteered by the Jedi to offer you some free counsel. Early bedtimes, honest sweat, and a healthy dose of genuine repentance are all excellent remedies for confusion as to life purpose and emotional angst for your own wrongdoing. I wish you all success in finding the True You.

Professionally Yours,
Lady B.

P.S. I can't believe I seriously wrote that to you after a long soul symphony of compassion for the outcasts. What level of worm can I sink to?

American Political Candidates

Dear Political Candidates,

Oh, wait. The 2016 election isn't fictional. Moving on.


Dear Rabbit,
We need your executive abilities to Make America Great Again. Imagine what you could do with our Hundred Acre Wood if you turned your paw to it. You'd be a natural at writing executive orders and making speeches. And you'd also be a natural at going around and getting everybody to do it. I think you'd especially enjoy harnessing America's man and woman power (must be politically correct) to the profitable task of finding all of your friends and relations. If you turned it into a smart phone game, you'd be a millionaire. Do consider this propisition.

Respectfully Yours,
Lady B.

PS. I have a Small too. Isn't that cute?


  1. Haha! 'Sir Andrew Ffoulkes seems like an INFJ' made me smile. This election is crazier than any fiction, isn't it? They come out with movies and books based around fiction election seasons every four years, but no one would ever have thought to make something up like we've got. :/ I love these character letters! :D

    1. Andrew Ffoulkes is such a dear fellow. He has to share my MTBI type. ;)

      It sure is! You could easily make a movie out of this one...I won't be surprised if someone DOES when it's all said and done. I'm so glad God is taking care of his people.

  2. This. Schuyler dear, have you considered being any sort of comedian at all? You'd be perfect for it.

    And wait, the election isn't fictional? Wow. I've been believing a lie.

    1. *is flattered* Ya know, if I keep collecting these, I might have enough for some sort of presentation. "Miss Manners Meets Lady Bibliophile" or something. :P

      Yeah. Totally. I must confess, I have not had the energy to keep up with every twist and turn of what's happening. It's one for the books, that's for sure.

  3. I love your letters to Sir Percy and Kylo Ren. :) And your "letter" to the 2016 candidates! Haha! If only a letter would help....

    1. I'm so glad. Those and Rabbit's were my favorites too. :) Make the Hundred Acres Great Again! :P


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