Friday, October 14, 2016
The Book For When You Want a Safe Place
Safe places aren't so rife that you fall over them every step of the way. There's a lot of safe people out there. I'm privileged to know quite a few of them.
Not everyone has a safe place. Not everyone is a safe place. But everyone, safe place or not, needs a safe place.
Jayme Hull is passionate about mentoring the millenial generation. The 25-35 somethings, so full of potential, seeking out who they are and where they belong in life and in the church. In her book Face to Face, she shares some of that wisdom, reaching out to countless girls who desperately want a woman to sit down one to one with them and meet regularly for sharing their hearts.
The Book [From Goodreads]
An indispensable resource on what everyone needs: a mentor
Whether you have a mentor, can’t seem to find one, or haven’t even thought to look, Jayme Hull walks you through every aspect of this critical relationship, including:
Its purpose, value, and benefits
Marks of a healthy mentoring relationship
Initiating, navigating, and even ending a mentorship
Becoming a mentor to others
Packed with stories and anecdotes from Jayme’s experience as both a mentor and mentee—plus sprinklings of wisdom on balance, purpose, and change—Face to Face speaks to the heart of young Christian women eager to grow. In her warm, personable style, Jayme offers expert advice on how to journey well with someone further along.
I love Jayme's warm, conversational style in writing this book. She knows how to reach out to millennials. She includes things that they care about: dreams and potential for the future, as well as wrestling through the gap of struggling to get started in life. Her own examples of trying to find her life purpose and starting her own mentor relationship makes the book feel like you're sitting down for a cup of chai and some good advice from a woman who cares about you.
The beauty of Face to Face is that it doesn't stay in the realm of the theoretical, but spends most of it's time on practical action steps readers can take to develop a mentor relationship. You won't walk away from this book only thinking "I wish I had a mentor." You'll also walk away thinking "I have some ideas on how to find one." Jayme gives tips on where to meet, what characteristics to look for in a mentor, and how to care about them as well as having them care for you.
It's easy to look at the description of a book like this and think "I don't have a mentor, and no one would do this for me." Not only is it possible, but we've also probably had mentoring more than we realize. While not discounting our need for regular meetings with a one-on-one, heart-to-heart mentor, Jayme gives examples of people who have mentored us. Coaches or teachers, friends, parents, Bible study leaders. I've never had a formal one-on-one mentor. I've always wanted one. But I have had mentors who have generously given time, effort, love, and listening ears to me. They've been both women older than me and peers. People I can text writing questions pretty much any time, and they'll answer. Parents I can talk to late at night, when life's problems seem to want to be solved. Women who have prayed for me, held me while I cried, sent Scripture and encouragement, and seen my potential. I wouldn't be where I am without the informal mentors who have poured so much love into me.
But the one-on-one kinds are important too. I know it would help in a few ways to know someone to meet regularly and talk through some issues I've walked through. Jayme gives some great ideas for getting to know someone like that. She walks through how to ask someone, how to deal with feelings if they say no, how to judge if you're both a good fit, and how to work through differences of opinion or uncomfortable moments that might arise. I especially appreciated her advice on that last part, because I want to know how to navigate the hard parts of navigating the human side of a good relationship.
The last chapters on balance, romance, and getting out of stuck spots in life seemed a little more life advice and less geared towards how a mentor could help with those things. While they were good advice, I thought they wandered from the heart of the book. But those are issues that Jayme encouraged readers to discuss with their mentors, so it all ultimately ties together, and they were really good chapters in themselves.
I suppose the only danger from this book could be reading it, agreeing with it, and walking away without taking action steps. As you read, take the time to ponder and pray, make lists of people you are being mentored by, and people you might want to be mentored by--or issues you want to be mentored in. (I'm talking to myself here, too. *makes note to Schuyler*)
Then make the first meeting. Don't jump into asking them to be your mentor just yet. Just get to know them, let them get to know you, and then ask them if they might be interested in a formal mentoring relationship.
And if you're scared, or need some words to say, then pick up Face to Face. It's an engaging read, rich with content and practical suggestions. You won't regret it.
I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own, and I was not obligated to give a positive one in any way.